Fleeting Beauty
These days when I hold Adam I feel a difference. Those unmistakable signs that his body is transforming from baby to boy are hard to ignore. His limbs are long, his actions are sure, he moves with intent. His eyes are focused and understanding. I even recognize the first glints of a sense of humor. He never wants to lay on my chest or snuggle in my arms. Whenever I try to hold him he struggles, wriggles, and efficiently arches his back and slides easily off my lap. He wants to be free to travel, explore, chase, and giggle. Most of the time as I watch the adventurous spirit practically bursting from the body of this wonderfully mischievous little boy I feel pure joy. Along with that, however, comes the assurance that this time is fleeting, and that the Adam I knew just yesterday will be different tomorrow. During this season of my life I've come to understand a phrase I read years ago:
"the exquisite pain of fleeting beauty"
The right now is beautiful, but with the passing of one more moment, gone forever. And with that knowledge comes pain. I'm here desperately drinking in Adam's present before it becomes his past. The saving grace is that for everything we leave behind, there is more wonderful waiting for us. The future has yet to disappoint, and some days as I watch my baby become my boy, that thought is my only solace.
Aww OK this about made me cry...I hate how quickly they grow up! Thanks for the reminder to cherish the present.
ReplyDeleteThey do grow up fast. But he will eventually want to be snuggled again.
ReplyDeletewonderfully written.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful! Can you believe this time last year we were waiting with such anticipation?
ReplyDeleteSo true, so true, they change before our eyes. But, as much as you think he is becoming a little boy now, wait until he is about three years old when there is no more baby fat and he runs like a true boy. He is still very much a baby!
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